Every time my dad gets a new phone, someone gives him my number and then he texts me and it’s all weird and stuff. And makes me paranoid that he’s gonna send more insulting messages like he had done in the past = v =
I’m still so angry with the shit he pulled in January(and all of the rest of my life») but I’m not a spiteful ass so I can’t just not reply »””
the last time i changed my number (a few years ago) i specifically cut off family members outside of my aunt. somehow patti and my mother would always end up with my cell number and would proceed to drive me nuts.
it helps that there’s a home phone (which i do not use) that they can call and leave messages on so that they aren’t constantly badgering dar for my number. going through the answering machine and listening to their madness can be frustrating, but it is FAR easier than dealing with the people themselves.
i realize they are mentally ill and can’t really be blamed for their actions, but i am extremely vindictive and have a hard time holding my tongue. having that barrier between us, as opposed to direct communication, allows me to release my anger by yelling and screaming back at their recordings, but they never have to hear me and are spared those reactions.
i understand this isn’t really the same situation you’re going through, and i don’t actually know what all you’ve done to prevent your dad from contacting you, but i would definitely consider talking to your grandma or whoever and ask them not to give out your number in the future. and possibly changing your name in their phones if it comes to it, in case he tries to obtain it without permission. (side note: it may be interesting to note that he does not keep your number elsewhere other than in his phones, and relies on others to keep giving it to him. i’m not sure whether that’s of any importance though…)
the main obstacle i can see in this is that you are much more connected to your family than i am to mine. i really only have to defend myself to darlene, and she has been more or less understanding and supportive of my actions. if i had other family members (i.e. allen) to answer to, it would be much harder to sever these ties and KEEP them severed—everyone is sympathetic and will try to convince you that your dad loves you and wants to change. there MAY be some truth to that, but everyone has torn relations in their past that they wish could be healed. it is likely they wouldn’t feel the same way if they had experienced his shittiness from your point of view.
your dad seems to fluctuate between wanting to make amends and simply being selfish and hurtful, and severing ties with him by no means makes you a “spiteful ass”. all he has shown you in the past is that he will not and cannot change. the difficulties lie in the kindess you possess and the guilt that you feel.
i’m pretty cynical about this though so maybe just consider me the id to your familys superego or whatever and take each side with a grain of salt?